After having lived in S.E. Asia for 15 years we learned very quickly that an Asian “no” is often times really a “yes”. For example, if I invite my friend to have a bite to eat, they would almost always say “no” three times, and if I was persistent, on the fourth time they would finally smile and say “yes, thank you!”.
Communications are one of the most prevalent areas of relational breakdown.
Misunderstandings of what was really being said or done has always been a tool of division that the enemy (satan) frequently uses. Married couples, although having become very intimate, spending loads of time together, sharing dreams, hopes, fears, and laughter almost always struggle with being misunderstood by each other.
Why is this?
How can we begin to recognize when we misunderstand or when we are being misunderstood? How can we take a new approach to this “tool of division”? This tactic of the enemy is an old one.
One simple approach is to begin to open our hearts. Open our hearts to learn a new language – the language of dialogue.
Our past experiences play a major role in our abilities to interpret concepts, life, love, and emotions. Hence the term “we’re not on the same page”. If I were taught to rotate the tires on my car “front to rear and visa versa”, and you were taught by a mechanic, to rotate them “clockwise”, in order to work together in a healthy way we must learn the art of dialogue! A task as uncomplicated as “rotating the tires” often times can lead into a shouting match or even to the point where one has no voice at all – both parties being misunderstood.
To some people, instead of dialogue they are “stuck” in monologue. Monologue is one voice that says “my way is the only way!”, or “I don’t care what you think!”. This type of communication can be base, immature, and can produce much negative fruit in any relationship. On the other hand, a communication that says “are you saying …?” or “can you restate that so I am sure I’m hearing your heart?” is one that is taking the more mature stance. This type of communication promotes honor, dignity, harmony, unity, clarity, and humility in which all of these depicts Christ, and strengthens relationships.
May this nugget of truth encourage you both today, and in all of your future communications!
We at Freedom Quest International are launching “EncounterLOVE” which is a series of 3 Saturdays this March 2011. The all day seminars are geared to enhance you Body-Soul-Spirit. For more details go to this link.
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